Chapter 0

This next post is to hopefully get out there, educate some people and maybe help me take a journey into why I believe in it again. This time I am stepping away from my home, my neighborhood, religion and our soap boxes for finance. This time I am lending my voice to the ones who don't necessarily have one. Although they can speak we just don't understand it, and that seems to be a big part of what is wrong with us as people, if we don't understand something we are either afraid of it or we think we are better than it. Ego. We are all a victim of it, I know I haven't been the best person I could be my whole life, but nor have I been truly all that bad. Once we take a step away from ourselves and try and understand what we really are in the scheme of things, hopefully we can all appreciate other beings a little more. We are not our bank accounts, we are not our jobs, those things while nice are just an appendage of our abilities gifted to us. But what we don't understand is that all beings have these abilities and gifts, everything has a purpose. So in this story I will try and change some minds, or at least try and get it out there more.

Today, there is an atrocity going on. It, one of many, has been going on for some time now, roughly 20 years or more. I could get detailed and site a bunch of sources but I am merely writing on my beliefs and emotions so we will just stick to rough facts. In a small village in Taiji Japan there is an annual "hunt" that occurs. This so called "hunt" is more of a slaughter, and has always been. Upwards of two thousand dolphins are slaughtered there every year, not to mention whales. They have had many claim to why they do it, some sources say it is a cultural thing, but many Japanese know nothing about it. Some say it is for the meat, but many sources have documented that Dolphin meat is very toxic as it is way above the line for healthy consumption in mercury. So, with all these claims as to why they do it, so far they don't add up. One claim was the Dolphins eat to much fish and they need to remove some of the Dolphins in order to up there fishing, well seems to me, and many others that we have eaten to much fish. If you look at the numbers since man started fishing, we have definitely had our fair share. So again that does not add up. Other places such as Denmark are open about it being a cultural passage from boy into man when they carelessly slaughter every Dolphin they can get there hands on. Not that it would make things any better if Japan said this. Needless to say these things need to stop, are we not anywhere closer to an intellectual lifestyle and further from a barbaric one. These old practices of killing things to prove we are no longer children only shows to the world that you are still children in the purest form.

My opinions and statements are merely my own, maybe shared with a handful of human beings but are still my words. I am not "God", I don't see the future and foresee what might be if we continue down this path of terrestrial and aquatic destruction. I mean it is clear that if we kill of species that belong there, that serve a purpose whether we see it or not things will change. Not truly for the better as we believe everything will as long as we keep praying. Well I can go off in many different directions with this one but let's stay close to the path.

I, myself, am in the process of getting signed up and fundraising to be able to go to Taiji "The Cove" and protest in person. I can spend my entire life writing about these things but if I never get over there and see it in person then I don't feel my words hold much ground. I have a strong passion for it, and I follow what goes on there but if I am not there at least once in my life then I am just speaking on someone else's facts or opinions. I am aiming for the end of this year, assuming I can raise the proper funding to get over there and be able to live for a few months there. Also hope to record some of the "hunt", maybe interview some people there and just get a broader sense of the story. This will be a very epic chapter of my life, with maybe some scraped skin, many tears and a truly broken heart. This should be the defining chapter of my life, who I am, and who I truly aim to be. And hopefully through my story I can carve a path for our youth to take hold of this world from the grasp of the elders, the grasp of the ones slowly trying to destroy it. May we save all animals from the abuse of man, may we restore the trees to their home and give life back to these cultures, may we live within our means and stop thinking of money as the ultimate thing in life. "Pay it forward"

Give a little bit, Give a little bit of your love to me

These days I am finding it hard to not just explode on people, maybe I am in the wrong but I know what I am seeing and it is not good, even in the slightest. Is there no social conscious anymore? Do people just not care, or is it just the people in my life? Seems as if that is so, seems the people in my direct line of sight on a daily basis and the most least caring people ever. Like I said I know I could be wrong here but it is all I see. People are more into selfish things like shopping and shows and concerts, traveling across the country to see something that will only last an hour at most. Instead of donating or lending a hand to someone who needs it, and I have personal experience with this when I continuously post charities online, in their faces and it just goes to the way side, drifts slowly down the page day by day with not a moments glance. This time has been better to say the least, I have had some donations to a very good cause and I am happy to be a part of it and have made it a point to make a fundraiser every month from now on.

Maybe it is just me but I don't see the religion in religious people these days. It is so easy to claim to be religious and to accept the positive connotations it implies to be. But when you are selfish and never take one second off yourself to lend a hand to someone else trying to do something good for the betterment of humanity I find it hard to like you. I find it hard to trust you in anything you say and do, I am losing faith in people on a daily basis. I am not a religious person, or a western religious person but I seem to be more into helping the helpless more than these people who claim to be better than so many other people. If you can stand on a soap box and bash so many people for who or what they are under the name of god, but you never try to do something good in the name of god, or just in the name of humanity, you are no better than the people you are bashing. Just my opinion.

So many people are talking negatively about this Occupy movement. Not really understanding all the negative things behind it. You would assume the poor people of this country would be behind a movement for their improvement, but I am wrong. It is sad that people would rather stay inside their homes and huddle up close to their expensive material possessions. These people are braving the cold, the rain and the never ending beatings by a police force that is suppose to protect us, a tool we put in place to protect us from real criminals, but now they are just turning us into the criminals. I am in no way a protestor, I don't claim to be. I have never slept outside, been arrested or pepper sprayed illegally, but I am a supporter, I take the time to educate myself on issues. What I don't get, also, about all these "americans" bashing the protestors and calling them lazy hippies is that this is not an american issue, this is worldwide. Cities all over the world are Occupying their governments and speaking out against their own versions of Wall St., they all have a stock market and big corporations that are exploiting them. Oddly enough in the poorer countries the big business is still american, but we are not all to blame, there is also the London Stock Exchange that is failing as well. I think we need to stop attacking the right people and start looking at the real issues and if you are not brave enough to sit in the street then be brave enough to say you give your support.

So many people around the world do not have adequate living situations, no jobs to even speak of, and no clean water. This is my cause, my issue that I am spending all my time on now. I just wanted to donate some of my time and space to speak out about these crimes of humanity. To think we have taps no less then a foot away from us at all times is crazy when you think about people walking miles a day for a chance at a glass of water, and some die along the way. These people are not fighting a war, they are not screaming out against high prices of oil or televisions. They are merely walking to get a sip of water and some just never make it back, and the real victim is the children who will never get that sip of water let alone see their family members again. Water and food are something we take for granted everyday, we use it as a means of comfort and joy. We use water to fill swimming pools, wash our cars, dishes and selves. We use food as a way to deal with life problems and in the process waste so much of it, it is sick to see how much grocery stores and restaurants waste everyday, all that could go to feed someone if we didn't put so many guidelines on our waste. These people who will never have a car, or a home with central air, would be satisfied with our waste. We could feed each person around the world for a month on our waste, daily waste. I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty, but I am just trying to educate and make aware these tragic stories. I am in no way better than anyone else, I am also a slave to the ways of living in america, I waste, I carelessly use, but I am becoming more aware and have since tried to cut back on my waste, tried to improve my life while improving the lives of others. I think I have found my calling.

Please read, donate if you can, and just spread the word as well. Give water.

Wake up call!

terrorism - is the systematic use of terror, especially as a means of coercion. coercion - is the practice of forcing another party to behave in an involuntary manner (whether through action or inaction) by use of threats or intimidation or some other form of pressure or force. In law, coercion is codified as the duress crime. sound familiar? we are systematically stretching our country thin with all these "wars" we are involved in. while we are out "policing" the world and publicly throwing out the word terrorism we are in fact the terrorist, our actions have created or flurried these small groups of people (i in no way condone what they do, just making a point). all the while we are starving at home, more and more end up in the streets, jobs lost overseas, more and more people needing government assistance. is this a tactic by our government to make us dependents, to make us fear them because if we disagree they will take away the last means we hold on to. step outside, take off whatever blinders you have on and truly look at the state of things in our country, whether you agree with "Occupy" or not, whether you are political or not, seriously wake up and see if we stay steady on this course we will end up in a hole that we wont be able to dig ourselves out of. and if you fear "terrorists" now, imagine what will happen when our guards are down and we are helpless. TAKE A STAND, USE YOUR VOICE!

Just a plain honest open rant...

So, just a basic observation that just makes me so mad. I tried to get a fundraiser going for a real noble cause this holiday season, was just something strictly pure of heart with no intention behind it. I made a article on my art page on my site and tried promoting it. Slowly getting nothing back I was wondering what was going on, did no one care about helping others as much as i did? Guess not. After making some posts, and yes I will admit, some prodding comments just to try and get people into the discussion at least. Nothing! So I was slowly losing hope and giving up on this project, all I mere asked was people donate if they could, and if not then please like what I was doing or share so that others could participate if they wanted. Nothing! Then one day I get a comment, the gist of the comment was that "I seemed shady" and that nobody wanted to donate to me because of that reason, and or maybe people don't have the money, which I totally understand I am not rich either. So after these comments against my integrity I left those group of people and moved on. After not getting anywhere at all I ditched the whole project, sadly I am not the one losing out. I was going to try and raise a nice chunk of change for the children's hospital, just wanted to give back this year to the one's who need it. After some thinking and weeks out of this group I decided to rejoin and just take it as a loss and let those sad pathetic people delete me and know that I am a better person then they are. I mean if you didn't want to help fine, but don't attack me because you are to selfish to do something to give back. I even had one guy tell me what he does for charity, like I needed someone telling me that what they do is better than what I am trying to do. Anyway, back to the point which got all fulfilled today. These same people that ignored me, belittled me as a person and just totally blew off any thought of giving back (even just a dollar) are publicly posted how they just blew $100 to $300 on themselves on this bands holiday presale of overly expensive pointless items. Now just so no one thinks I am bashing anyone, I know we all work hard for out money and it is precious, if we need it. But all I asked was for everyone to donate a dollar if they could, and then I see this. I see people posting about spending hundreds and thousands to go to shows in support of this band, or on cruises. Now all they had to do was maybe miss out on a pack of gum for the month and donate a very small amount to a great cause, and even one guy made another comment on how people wouldn't want to donate to me because they would want the tax cut, really, a tax cut on a fucking dollar. I am slowly realizing the people, whom I don't even know, but surround my life and me beliefs are selfish. In a group all about love, peace, unity and giving, I witnessed none of this, I witnessed selfishness and hatred towards me for doing something good. Oh! another comment when I stated all people had to do was share if they couldn't donate and one actually commented with a link to another page saying that more than 30 people liked that page, and it had nothing to do with charity or what I was doing at all. On a group site where someone can get 30 likes and shares and comments for weeks on a post about how they just "dropped" an absurd amount of money on clothing items for themselves and a post about charity for children gets no likes, no shares and comments that bash the whole idea of what I was trying to do is just sad! I hoped for something better, but I am slowly realizing on the cusp of a global revolution that people are just ignorant and apathetic. I admit I let my emotions get the best of me when I was just being ignored on all fronts, all sites that I posted on, I mean short of standing in front of a store with a cup I did all I thought I could do get this fundraiser off the ground. Did I go wrong somewhere? Did I make the wrong approach? or did I simply address the wrong people? I am still clueless on those answers, I went straight to the group that I thought was full of love, a group that will collectively get together and raise money so someone who has everything but can't afford a cruise or a concert can go, I witnessed this. I know they are capable of doing good things, but only for themselves, even these small gestures of kindness are still only selfish and help only the members of this group spend money on something that isn't that important in the scheme of things. Just imagine what could have been accomplished and given back of the so odd thousands of members of this group, worldwide, just donated a dollar. Skipped buying a t-shirt for the holidays, missed out on the next bracelet for whatever gathering they were planning next, maybe it is just me but I don't see the love or unity in this anymore.

Still no matter what I am a 311 fan, and I believe in love, unity, respect and peace.....giving back so that others can have a little something too!

Cheers to those who also truly believe this, give back and do good things, maybe misguided but with good intentions. I am no saint by any means, just a rant and observation on something personal and in my life.

Oh! No! Fantastico.....?

September 21st started out as any other normal day for me. Not remembering at the moment if I had to work that day but that is not a major factor in the story. From recollection I headed down town around 5 p.m. and found my way to the intersection of 12th and Porter. Upon arriving extremely early, what? I like to be punctual, I decided to have a few beers before the reason of the evening. I found my way to Rooster's and had a few 2-for-1 beers. Then as the time approached 8 p.m. I made my way over to 12th and Porter to check in for the show. Okay now I know you have all been wondering, it was the Alien Ant Farm show. I had been so stoked and waiting for this for so long. I did my research as I always did of the opening bands, sadly I turned up minimal results and what I had found I wasn't too sure how I felt about them. Sadly I will tell you now that AAF did not end up playing, do to some disagreement with the venue owners. But, I had my mind blown by these opening bands. Before I get into it I would like to start off by saying I was a little buzzed and just chilling by the bar as the venue was still getting set up. I saw this guy walking around handing out bracelets, I was intrigued. He then came up to me and we started to chat, I got a bracelet and found out it was the lead singer of one of the opening bands. The one and only Michael Gossard front man of the band ACIDIC, we had a nice little chat and he went upon his way to continue his noble grassroots approach to meeting fans and promoting his band. A few more beers later I watch as the first band gets ready to take the stage, had no idea what I was about to see, so I eased my way closer to the stage (was a very small crowd so I had plenty of wiggle room). Then lights go down and my eyes light up and I can not stop staring and listening as Lindsey Stamey began to sing, probably the most beautiful and powerful voice I have ever heard in person. The band Oh No Fiasco from the moment they started playing I was an instant fan. Before the first song had even ended I was over at their merch booth and got two bracelets and proceeded to head back to the stage, I was in awe. After the show I went up to the guitar player and gave my honest admiration and asked for the set list, he told me to meet them at the booth and they would all sign it for me. Very amazingly nice people.

Set list I acquired from the band Oh No Fiasco

All songs listed were absolutely amazing, some of which I can not get my hands on. A few were not on the EP I purchased after the show. But the one song that stole my heart and still does is Clarity, that song just exposes so many truths and emotions in my own life. What I enjoyed and still do about ONF is the pure honesty in the music, you can tell what she is writing about and how real it is. That to me is so hard to find these days, the music doesn't fit the lyrics, but in this case the music is ripping at your heart strings just as much as her voice and words. What impressed me so much was their energy on stage, you can tell they were born to be up there. From the moment they started to the end they were so into the whole show, and I can say for such a small crowd you would have thought they were playing for thousands. I was so thankful for being at this show, opening my eyes to such an amazing band, getting to meet such amazing people. After the show I continued to follow them on Facebook and Twitter and I felt so bad for them that they broke down in Odessa Texas and had to cancel the remainder of their show, but that little break down led to an amazing home movie and an even more amazing song recorded in their hotel room. I can honestly say I am in love with this band and will be happily seeing them back at the same venue on December 3rd, and then again on the 18th, this time I will be bussing up to Knoxville for the special christmas show. Needless to say I am very excited and this time I will be getting many more pictures and video.

The lovely Lindsey Stamey 

Kamryn Cunningham

Seth Rowlette

Lindsey

Seth, Lindsey and Thomas Boyd

Our Heart

I found it, the other day. I mean I wasn't really looking, I know I put it away for one reason or another. But after taking it back out and holding it back up I realized, it is so strong and durable. It has been through a lot over these years. Kicked around, throw at the wall, left in dark rooms all by itself while the owner ran around being young and stupid. So many good times and bad times, times when I thought it would just swell and break all on its own. Although it has been scuffed and tattered it still remains as it was when I put it away. Upon holding it up to the light I can see the tiniest shimmer of gold, maybe a few more years and it will be all cleaned up and ready to shine again. Who knows, there are always going to be dark roads and careless strangers. Somewhere out there there is a person who will appreciate it and take it in, set it up high and never leave it in dark rooms. Maybe rest it by the fireplace and keep it warm, always near the conversation in the room. That is the goal I guess, what we all search for when we give away our hearts.

Like A Child

Sometimes I feel as if I have the heart of a child. So honest and pure, hopeful and easily loving of others. Sometimes I feel that is a huge downfall, who wants to be this old and still get there heart smashed to pieces because you are just to innocent with love. By far am I saying I am the best person in the world, I do have many flaws and have made many mistakes, maybe I deserve the pain that has been given to me. All I am truly saying is I love too easily and too often, I love in the wrong direction, I love strangers who have only but showed me a small portion of their time. I can fall in love with the idea of a person before ever meeting them. Why is this, is this something wrong, is this is a misfire of something in my brain. Can this actually be considered a flaw, maybe, I mean no one wants a fool. Sometimes I want to retract from the world and just be alone, I am far too scared of getting my heart hurt again, like a child I must protect it from the people wanting to do it harm. Sometimes, most of the time, I never want to feel that way again, I never want to try, to put myself out there. But then I think, maybe this time will be different, maybe I will be loved back as innocently and as strongly as I love them. Someday I hope this to be true, as for now I wait silently in a world of strangers, too hurt to really open up to friends who aren't really there anyways.